Single parenting is a roller coaster ride, says Devina Kaur, Founder of Sexy Brilliant non-profit organization & published author of Too Fat, Too Loud, Too Ambitious.
Parenting is hard whilst single parenting can be even harder. We all go through tough times at some point during our lives. Some of us are seemingly happy in our marriages and then there are those of us who become single parents.
Our society is so insecure & shallow that many like to take away energy from their own divinity and their own lives and spend their time meddling in others’ business. Hence, single parents often deal with external pressure from society on what the best way to raise their children should be. The truth is, parenting is the most fun and the most difficult job ever! I’ve faced many personal challenges such as being a first generation immigrant and having no immediate family around for support in raising my daughter. It is very difficult but I choose to look at everything in life as a gift.
To assist me in parenting the best way that I possibly can, I’ve built a large support network consisting of single parents, friends, and neighbors who are always willing to help with anything I need, including babysitting. I learned that no situation in life is permanent and that means that the bad times and the struggles will pass. Take the time to focus on yourself, self-reflect, and deal with your issues head-on so that you can know who you are and become the person you are meant to be. My ultimate goal is to stay healthy – physically, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually. I know that it is vital that I parent myself first so that I can be the best version of myself for my child says Devina Kaur.
Over the years I have learnt to feel less guilty when enjoying some me-time. The first step is to unlearn old patterns and conditioning. I have learnt to be selfish, to take out time for myself, my health and to form outside relationships away from my daughter. I learnt to rely on others, the single-mother community, and even paid babysitting to manage and make conscious time for me.
Let’s face it; we’re presented with a baby at childbirth, but no manual comes with him or her! Most of the time I’m winging it, striving to be as brilliant a mom as my daughter is a brilliant child. I’ve learned so much from her! She’s taught me that everything doesn’t have to be perfect for us to be able to share giggles. In fact, we spend a lot of time having fun, laughing at our foibles, and finding joy in whatever splendid little events pop up each day. I have chosen to embrace every moment that I spend with her.
Along with being a mother of a 13-year-old, I am a full-time professional artist, inspirational speaker and I am the founder and CEO of an organization called the ‘Sexy Brilliant Non Profit Foundation’. Sexy Brilliant™ non profit foundation is committed to removing toxic shame and raising human consciousness. I am also a published author, a radio host and producer.
Choose to GROW through what you GO through. Like all parents, over the past 12-13 years I have faced many challenges. I have received all kinds of negative comments directed towards me like being ‘too fat’, ‘too loud’ and ‘too ambitious’. I have chosen to move away from the labels that people place on me and I choose to live in joy and abundance and not allow others small-minded words to bring my vibration down.
After the split with my daughter’s father, I was absolutely devastated. I tried to minimise the effects of my separation on my daughter as much as possible. Children on the other hand are carefree; they should not be affected by the challenges that life throws around them especially at such a young age. During those times I taught my daughter about positive self-talk, self-compassion and empathy. I especially love how I am teaching her to talk to herself – with positivity, kindness and courage every single day. I always make her look at herself in a positive manner. I want to empower her to live authentically and to live in love with herself first and consequently with everyone she comes in contact with. Because the journey to more self-love is LOVE itself adds Devina Kaur.
To those who are struggling, I recommend self-knowledge as the key to success, in life, in business, and in parenting. When you know who you are, what your likes and dislikes are, you will learn to accept, unlearn and reveal your most authentic, sexy and brilliant self! Remember that no part of you is your own enemy.
